In Communication tips: verbal we began a conversation about how best to speak with someone experiencing symptoms of dementia.
But so much communication happens through our physical (not spoken) interactions; that’s important to remember when interacting with someone who experiences symptoms of dementia.
People with progressive dementia often have a hard time with language. This may gradually get worse as the disease progresses, or it might seem to be minor until there’s a sudden, rapid decline.
What begins with difficulty recalling a specific word can evolve into a complete inability to communicate through speech. In these situations, non-verbal communication becomes even more important than usual.
We tend to think of communication as talking, but in fact it consists of much more than that. As much as 90 per cent of our communication takes place through non-verbal communication, such as gestures, facial expressions and touch.
Non-verbal communication is particularly important for a person with dementia who is losing their language skills. What is more, when a person with dementia behaves in ways that cause problems for those caring for them, it is important to realise that they may be trying to communicate something.
Often we think about communication as “getting my idea across.” But half of communicating is understanding what the other person is saying. “Non-verbal communication” refers both to your body language and to how you interpret others’ physical expressions.
The problem is that we’re used to certain signals cluing us in that somebody “gets it.” We answer questions and then ask for details. Our faces react; perhaps we lean close to the person who’s speaking.
Improve your non-verbal communication skills
- It’s ok…it’s ok that you have to think about body language, that you have to consider how you present yourself. Try to embrace it rather than be overwhelmed.
- Communicate using hand motions, too. For example, “Let’s go brush your teeth” might be accompanied by pantomiming brushing your own teeth.
- Try sitting or standing with your eyes at or below eye-level of the person you’re addressing.
- Try to make and hold eye contact so your loved one knows that you’re speaking to her.
- Maintain a sense of humor. If something funny happens, it’s usually okay to laugh about it together.
- Leave your (bad) mood at the door. You may be rushing in from work; you may be frustrated or upset.
- These feelings are all completely fine. Don’t feel bad for feeling bad!
- But before you approach someone with more-advanced dementia, it’ll be easiest for you both if you stop for a moment to compose yourself before you engage.
- Taking a few deep breaths (slowly in…and hold…and slowly exhale…) is often enough to completely change your body language, your facial expression, your tone.
- As people lose their ability to communicate with words they often become much more attuned to non-verbal cues.
- Subtle motions that you never realized you make (bouncing your knee, fussing with your hair) may be undermining your words.
- If you’re not getting the response you want, take a moment to assess yourself and see if you may be inadvertently sending the wrong message.
- Do you look tense or upset? think about your shoulders, your hands, your mouth, your brow: are they relaxed?
- Do you seem agitated or frustrated? tapping your fingers or tensing your jaw might normally be no big deal, but that kind of repetitive movement can (often incorrectly) signal that you’re growing impatient with the conversation or, worse, the person.
- Are you smiling? Is your face relaxed?
- Is your body posture stiff?
- Perhaps most importantly, be flexible. Different approaches may work for the same person depending on the day, the time, their mood, yours….
- Remember that you’re speaking in an attempt to communicate, and there are many different ways to do that.
Editor’s Note:
This post is a starting point. I’m sharing some things that seem to work. I’ve done or my friends and colleagues have experienced most of these.
We’ll continue to build on this discussion of Communication through additional posts, shared resources, links and, perhaps most importantly, through your comments.
What’s your experience been? Do you have tips to share? What would you like to hear more about in future posts?
So, what non-verbal communication styles have you experienced? Have you tried any of the ones listed above? Do you have non-verbal communication tips of your own to share? Anything that you’ve learned that you won’t do again? Share your experiences; you just may save someone else from the trial-and-error process of learning how to interact with those living with symptoms of dementia. We want to hear it all!
Please comment at the bottom of this page, or you can e-mail me directly at MySimpleC@SimpleC.com.
Lakeview Ranch offers a really good and interesting resource: Communication Tips Directly from Individuals with Early Memory Loss.
This is an excerpt from Lakeview Ranch’s introduction:
Families and other care partners often discover communication problems as Alzheimer’s disease progresses. As with anything else in life, people learn new ways to compensate for those losses.
Initially, it may not seem like the person with Alzheimer’s disease is experiencing communication difficulties. Common things, like daily routines, may be remembered enough to talk about until the middle phase of the illness. In some instances, the ability to chat or make small talk will diminish, or may be all that a person can do.
Changes in the brain make selecting appropriate words, matching objects to their use, or following the simplest of instructions difficult. Changes in language ability can cause withdrawal from social situations because the person becomes self-conscious of those losses. This can be a frustrating time for families because the medical information they get does not always address these common changes in communication.
Some caregivers create new patterns of communication easily. Other families need more practice. Remember, we still need communication as the bond that holds us together.
We just need to change the way we mix the cement!
-via Lakeview Ranch
From the section Tips for Communicating with a Person with Alzheimer’s Disease or Other Memory Loss Problems,
in This is how I Feel: Communication Tips directly from Individuals with Early Memory Loss
Click here to download their .pdf, This is how I Feel: Communication Tips directly from Individuals with Early Memory Loss.
HelpGuide.org also has a great piece on Nonverbal Communication (also known as “Body Language,” although it extends beyond that). Here is an excerpt:
To improve nonverbal communication, learn to manage stress
Learning how to manage stress in the heat of the moment is one of the most important things you can do to improve your nonverbal communication. Stress compromises your ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, you’re more likely to misread other people, send off confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Furthermore, emotions are contagious. Your upset is very likely to trigger upset in others, making a bad situation worse.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, it’s best to take a time out. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.
How emotional awareness strengthens nonverbal communication
In order to send accurate nonverbal cues, you need to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You also need to be able to recognize the emotions of others and the true feelings behind the cues they are sending. This is where emotional awareness comes in.
Emotional awareness enables you to:
- Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken messages they’re sending.
- Create trust in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up with your words.
- Respond in ways that show others that you understand, notice, and care…. Continue reading at HelpGuide.org
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