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How to approach
Before you can begin a conversation, you have to approach the person. This is something we may not normally give much thought to. With people living with dementia, though, the approach is critical to the subsequent interaction.
This is when you’re going to start with using your nonverbal communication skills.
It’s also potentially going to be the most difficult part of the exchange. This is when you’ll figure out what kind of day it’s been, and for some people, this is when you discover if your loved one knows who you are today.
- Be aware of your mood (and if you’re stressed or upset, take a minute to compose yourself before you enter)
- Approach from your loved one’s front so that she can see you and know you’re addressing her
- Even if it feels weird, introduce yourself if recognition is ever an issue. “Hey, mom! It’s me, Jennie Lynn, your daughter!” with a smile, looking into her eyes, perhaps touching her arm.
- Adjust yourself so that your eyes at the same level (perhaps by sitting or kneeling).
- Once you’ve made it clear that you’re talking to her, and who you are, step a bit to the side or sit next to her. Remaining face-on can feel a little intimidating, and a shift to the side can be relaxing.
This is part 2 of a 5-part guide:
Talking to Someone with Dementia
- Intro
- Your approach (current page)
- What to say
- Yikes! What now?
- How to leave (coming soon!)
← Intro What to say →
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What a nice article. I lived with my grandma, who has dementia and Alzheimer’s for a year and a half and wrote some stories about my experience. Here the link if you want to check it out:
http://caseykurlander.wordpress.com/category/grandma/
Thanks,
Casey
Excellent post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? Id be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Thank you!
I work within the local meatnl health Trust and my grandfather has advanced dementia. I think a lot of the work needs to be around supporting the carers and family, as this always seems to be missed. My grandmother was caring for her husband even though she was dying from cancer and the NHS nor the social services gave her any support. In fact I contacted the Alzheimers society who came to see her. When she became too ill my grandad was treated as a diagnosis, not an individual so was doped up with medication so he couldn’t understand what was going on. Education around the fact that people who have Dementia still are human beings, are physically active and need respect. Dementia is very much stigmatised in society and this needs to go as many of us will have this condition in later life (some not even in later life)
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