Unafraid of aging

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On June 25, 2012, The New York Times published Karen Pennar’s Unafraid of Aging, highlighting Dr. Linda P. Fried. It was the most recent installment in their series “Profiles in Science.” 

An epidemiologist and geriatrician, Dr. Fried, dean of the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University, has focused her career on what she sees as the definitive challenge of the 21st century: embracing our transition to an “aging society”  in which, over the last century, our life expectancy has increased from fifty to eighty-plus years.

Pennar’s opening paragraph is the focus of today’s post:

“The signal public health achievement of the 20th century was the increase of the average human life span. Now, as that achievement helps raise the proportion of the aged around the world, what once seemed an unalloyed blessing is too often regarded as a burden — a financial burden, a health care burden, even a social burden.”

“It’s nuts,” said Dr. Linda P. Fried. “To assume defeat from what every one of us as individuals wants suggests we’re not asking the right questions.” She continues that findings from the science of aging should “reframe our understanding of the benefits and costs of aging.”

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Video

Dr. Linda P. Fried (Video by The New York Times06/25/2012)

Linda P. Fried: An interview with the geriatrician and dean of the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University on preventing frailty and the transition to an aging society

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So how did we, as a society, grow to be so ambivalent towards growing older? Why do so many people seem to fear it? And what can we do to turn things around?

Not just to ameliorate that gnawing unease, but to begin to uncover, highlight, and advance the myriad benefits we, as a society, can reap from the huge jump we’ve achieved in average lifespan.

How can we support older adults in maintaining involvement in their communities post-retirement? There is so much to be gained, both by our aging population and society as a whole, if we can find positive ways to encourage lifelong engagement.

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 Dr. Fried has focused her career on what she considers to be the challenge of the 21st century: embracing our transition to an “aging society”  in which, over the last century, our life expectancy has increased from fifty to eighty-plus.

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Signs of dementia? or just normal aging?

“Hey, where are my keys? I’ve looked EVERYWHERE!”

“Oh, no…is this Alzheimer’s??”

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Sound familiar?

Increased awareness of Alzheimer’s and other degenerative dementias means Baby Boomers (and the generations that follow) are acutely cognizant of the havoc it can wreak on a life. Some of us become hyperaware of the slightest changes we perceive, worried that any mental lapse is a sign of impending dementia.

Others, knowing that some change in cognition is normal with advancing age, mistakenly write off real symptoms as “just getting old.”

So, how can you tell the difference between normal aging and early signs of dementia?

Delirium

 

My 90-year-old grandfather recently experienced a blood pressure spike. I’m not sure of the specifics, but I know that it scared both him and my grandmother enough to immediately take him to the health center in their CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community)…where he was promptly sent to the emergency room.

My grandfather, already in the early stages of dementia, stayed at that hospital for 3 nights; my cognitively-normal grandmother spent most of that time at the hospital, too, either in the waiting room or at his bedside.

By the time they returned home, things were bad.

My grandfather, who used to be forgetful-but-can-still-do-things-for-himself, was now bedridden, depressed, and confused.

Communication tips: verbal

Verbal communication

• If you need to repeat yourself, do so using the same words. It’s ok to say the same thing in a different way, but try saying it the same way, again, slower, first. 
• Pause to give her time to process the information. 
• Communicate at her pace. Keep in mind how that this changes over the course of the day.
• Speak directly and in a normal voice. So don’t baby-talk and please don’t yell.
• If you’re speaking with someone in a later stage of dementia, introduce yourself (“Hey, Mom, I’m Sally, your daughter…”)
• It’s alright to speak a little more plainly and slowly than you might with a person not experiencing symptoms of dementia. Try to keep ideas separate (“Let’s get dressed” instead of “Let’s get dressed so we can get in the car and drive to breakdfast”). Just don’t be condescending.
• Don’t let yourself become exasperated, angry, upset. Your goal is to communicate, not to have a perfect conversation.

About us

Hi, welcome to MySimpleC.com.

My name’s Virginia Lynn Rudder (“Jennie Lynn” for short) and I work for a company, SimpleC, that’s using new technology to connect people living with dementia with their communities and to deliver personalized information, entertainment, and therapies set to an individual’s schedule. And largely succeeding, I might add.

But I’m not here to talk about that.

You can pop over to www.SimpleC.com if you’re interested in learning more, but we won’t be offended if you’re not. In fact, I’ll rarely even mention SimpleC. And if I ever do bring up a SimpleC product or service in the future I pledge to disclose our connection in the article, just as I’d disclose any other connection with a product or service I mention.

Because it’s not the goal of MySimpleC.com to sell you anything.

Seriously.

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Over the years we’ve seen the same hard-won knowledge uncovered time and again in different environments, communities, homes. And, for the most part, that’s where it stops. There’s no effective way to share it.

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The point of MySimpleC.com is to establish an online community that will connect professional caregivers with family caregivers, uniting people living with symptoms of dementia with high-level researchers with people just now learning that not all dementia is Alzheimer’s…and everyone in-between.

Why?

Because over the years we’ve seen the same hard-won knowledge uncovered time and again in different environments, communities, homes. And, for the most part, that’s where it stops. There’s no effective way to share it.

See, there are TONS of dementia resources out there but it’s hard to know which ones are worth reading. In fact, I just googled it: “dementia” brought up 10,200,000 results. “Alzheimer’s” netted 57,100,000. Sometimes there’s too much information and not enough guidance; this definitely seems like one of those times.

Just to be clear: I’m certainly not claiming to know all there is to know about progressive dementia. Sure, I’ve picked up a few helpful tips and earned some knowledge from The School of Hard Knocks…but I am acutely aware that it’s just scratching the surface.

We’ve seen a lot of dementia and how the same symptoms are approached in so many different ways, with such varying success. We hope to centralize that knowledge.

But in the process of compiling some of what we’ve learned (and wow do we have a lot to share in the upcoming weeks and months!) I realized that there’s a second component also missing in the digital dementia world: an open forum.

There needs to be a place that’s supportive yet honest, that’s neither woe-is-me nor persistently chipper, where you can ask hard questions and, even if they’re unanswerable, at least learn how others in your situation approached them. We need a place where it’s ok to be upset but not alright to be disrespectful. We need a place where caregivers whose loved ones have recently passed can connect with one-another and, if they’d like, share with those facing the battle they just fought.

I want this to be that place. We’re building this from the ground-up, together, and a lot of the initial discussions will take place in comments and through posts that you suggest.

Don’t worry, it’s not another person or entity demanding more of your time. Just…stop by when you can, and if you have a second, let me know what you think is good and what seems off or wrong.

Whether you’ve been diagnosed with a progressive dementia yourself (Alzheimer’s, Lewy Bodies, Parkinson’s, Mild Cognitive Impairment, vascular, …) or you’re the family or friend of someone who has been…it can be so overwhelming. I know it can. Not all bad, not by any stretch, but just such an unpredictable, continual challenge. And so isolating. Hopefully we’ll create a community that you can call your own.

So, we’re glad to have you; I hope you stay a while!

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MySimpleC.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Life story

Recording your life story can be a powerful experience. So can helping someone else record theirs.

For people facing progressive dementia, discussing and sharing life lessons can mean even more. As they record their hard-earned knowledge, people living with dementia also lay a kind of roadmap of the most significant and defining moments in their lives.

This is important because dementia often eats away at memories in a predictable pattern.

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Recording your life story can be a powerful experience. So can helping someone else record theirs.

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We talk about a “narrowing window” on childhood. That’s when someone with memory loss retains older memories but not more recent ones. A lot of times the most resilient memories that all of us make are in the times we define ourselves as individuals, usually as teens and younger adults. New experiences make the strongest memories, and you have more new experiences at younger ages age, too.